Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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