did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
