No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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