if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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