get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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