If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
