Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
