I have demons in me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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