U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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