Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The power of my boobs compel you
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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