WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
