its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
