i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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