I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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