i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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