i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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