i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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