i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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