I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
