Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
