Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
