Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
