the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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