so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
