im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
