the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize