entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
