I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
