got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
