Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
