Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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