I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
