this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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