Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
