He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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