I think im going to throw up on grandma
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
