i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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