i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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