you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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