Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
