I need help removing her.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
