Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
