That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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