that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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