That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
