dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
