I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
