She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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