just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
