I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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