His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
