I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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