She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
