I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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