Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
