Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
