It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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