My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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