his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
