Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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