i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize