you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ttyl tear gas
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
